Dissertation Time

Ugh.

I am sitting here at my computer trying to find the inspiration and direction to start the monster...the dissertation. Now, my degree is a DMA, so it isn't even REALLY a dissertation...it doesn't have to be as long, and I have a bit more freedom in what I am talking about. Ultimately, the goal is to turn it in so that my degree is complete and I can get a job.

Of course, I also want this to be something valuable - something that makes a contribution to my profession - and I don't want to be embarrassed of what I turn in. Writing scares me, and with those additional thoughts weighing on my mind, I just keep sitting here and taking care of every other little thing I can think of and not getting started on the most important one.

ARRRGHHH!!!!

Sometimes I wonder if I have taken the right path. I mean, here I am - 32 years old and I have yet to start having a "real" life. I don't know where I am going to live next year, what I will be doing, IF I will have a job...I feel like by this point in my life it is fair to expect a certain degree of normalcy, but there really hasn't been one. I guess I have to remember that it will (hopefully) all pay off in the end, and that someday I will look back and realize it was all worthwhile. It is just hard right now...

Enough complaining, and back to TRYING to finish. :)